of course

"In a complex text, organization may be elaborate, messages may be implicit, interactions among ideas or characters may be subtle, and the vocabulary is demanding and intricate."
- from "Study: Reading Key to College Success"

I think this absolutely characterizes excellent literature from the mediocre. Whether it's a poem, short story, non-fiction essay, or novel, the more students practice reading and understanding the text--the organization of action and character development, motivation of the characters, intent of the author, the thematic messages and issues, all of the elements that work together to form an engaging and insightful work of literature...crafted in language that is precise and intelligent, without cliches and simplistic descriptions...this package is a complex text.

I have always loved to read. This kind of innate fascination and obsession with reading is probably the foundational common trait among all writers. It is also probably an inherent quality in every teacher and professor of English.

Unfortunately, the nature of teaching today's high school students is that many students do not have this same admiration and desire for the written word. Whether or not saturation with books and reading is essential in developing this trait, lest it be lost forever, I can't say. I do know from my studies in literacy and reading skills, the earlier children are introduced to the concepts of reading, the structure of books and literary forms, and surrounded by healthy, positive language, the more likely a child is to be an excellent reader--not only in skill, but also in his/her motivation to read. Choosing a book over a movie, for example. Actually reading the assigned homework chapters for English class. Actually reading a book!

I'm also understanding of the reality that certain speech impairments and developmental issues can delay a child's reading readiness and ultimately impact his/her literary. Depending on what kind of parental support and intervention takes place, and how early, this usually doesn't impact a child through adulthood. In fact, the most motivated and dedicated students are the ones who overcame a speech impediment, dyslexia, or other difficulty in regards to their ability to read and comprehend.

When I was teaching full-time, I required my students to complete an Outside Reading requirement worth 10% of their final grade. For regular level students, this meant they had to read 300 pages (for total credit) of literature (fiction or non-fiction) each quarter. Honors students had to read 500 pages a quarter. The book could not be any from the course curriculum, or a book they read in previous years for English class. Movie books received 1/2 credit. (Which became increasingly difficult as more and more good novels have been adapted into screenplays and produced.) I first learned about this concept from Jane Schaffer when I attended my first workshop with her in the fall of 1997, my first year as a teacher.

My second year of teaching I broadened the scope to also include "Literary Experiences"--where students could attend a play or poetry/book reading and write a short review about the experience. It wasn't as time consuming as reading, but not very many chose this route because they didn't want to pay to see a performance or simply weren't interested. Most did the reading, and after missing it for a quarter quickly realized what a difference it made to their grade. I evaluated students' credit based on "Oral Book Reports". Without fail, I could tell if a student had actually read the book or not. Open it up to a random page, read and passage, then ask the student, "Tell me what's going on." If students haven't read the book, or haven't read to that passage yet and were trying to test on the whole book, it becomes very apparent--they stumble through an explanation, are vague, etc. If that haven't read but had a friend fill them in enough or they somehow otherwise were slick enough to sound like they kind of read, I'll pick a few more passages to have them explain. Often I'll ask specific questions about the character development, theme, or action--usually when I've also read the book. And since I've read many, many books, the students knew they couldn't fool me easily.

My favorite times were when I caught students trying to fib their way through an Oral Book Report. I'd usually make up an event or a character and ask a question about it. Because the student hadn't read the book, he/she would try to create a fabricated answer for my fabricated question. I remember once asking a student who claimed to have read a science-fiction book.

After a few stumbling responses, I asked, "So tell me about the character Vader." The student: "Oh, he's the guy who...." Uh, no. Vader is in Star Wars.

Overall, the most rewarding part of requring Outside Reading was that I was had 5 minute book discussion with each student at least once a quarter. Some students read piles of books, over a thousand pages for the school year. I remember one 11th grade boy who claimed to have never read a book. I told him to go get Harry Potter from the school library, and I bet he would love it. This was back in 1999 when Potter was still really, really the IN thing. He had to be on the waiting list for awhile, and I knew the other student who had the book checked out. So I told her, "Hey, hurry up and finish that book, I know a kid who needs to read it!" It was like an after-school special movie, because that 17-year-old kid read Harry Potter and loved it. He came in so excited on a Monday, telling all about how he read it over the weekend and just couldn't put it down. How we wanted to get the next book right away and start reading again. And the awesome thing for him was that because HP books are so thick, he got most of his pages read for the semester!

I believe the Outside Reading requirement gave students the opportunity to read. When it's not cool and they are so busy with sports, activities, jobs, and friends, this gave them the excuse to kick back and read. Isn't that why some adults go on vacation now? Just to lounge by a pool and read? Read in the airport, on the plane, laying at the beach. Read in the hammock, on the couch, in the park, in a coffee shop.

And by giving them the opportunity to read, they practiced their reading skills. They improved their literacy. They engaged in reading complex texts. Sustained commitment to a work of art. God knows this can't hurt 'em. And 10 minutes each class day of SSR (sustained silent reading) was also helpful. Man, I miss that part of teaching.

* * *
Here's one teacher's webpage for outside reading that includes a book list. neat.

bloggers turned novelists

From Time for the last post -

"Ana Marie Cox also stands as a prime example of another under-acknowledged weakness of the blogger uprising: to make it in blogging seems to mean making it out of blogging. By the time the Vanity Fair photo spread on Gawker Media hit the store shelves in January, Cox had left Wonkette to focus on promoting her novel Dog Days, a satire on Washington DC for which she was paid $250,000. Elizabeth Spiers, too, defected from Gawker after about a year on the job, and her satirical novel will be published next year. Its title is curiously apropos: And They All Die in the End."

"The point is, any writer of talent needs the time and peace to produce work that has a chance of enduring."

Interesting.

* * *

Time

Peace

dada in D.C.

Surrealist poets would be delighted to know about the dada exhibit at Washington's National Gallery--although this article doesn't give mention about Tristan Tzara founding the movement, just his friends Hugo and Richard.

For my MFA Surrealism Poetry course, I chose Tristan Tzara--the poet & essayist known as the founder of dada--as my research subject. In addition to the extensive final research paper, I had to write a creative series of works modeled after our historical surrealist writer. Here are some excerpts from my Tzara-inspired prose, modeled after his "Dada Manifesto" and "Lecture on Dada". (Reading it now, I realize it makes better sense if combined with reading Tzara's actual manifesto. Or perhaps I was hyped up on coffee at the time of composition.)

III
We have always made poorly-constructed rhymes and foamy espresso beverages, but the greatest mistakes are the poems we have written. Gossip has one single bad breath: the rejuvenation and maintenance of biblical and Shakespearean traditions. Gossip is only glorifying itself (like cheerleaders and kids who shop at Old Navy), encouraged by the state-controlled tobacco company (and large home breweries), the international airports of America, all the hospitals in Spokane, the funeral and basket-weaving industry and coffee factories . . . The form under which it most often appears is DADA, and sometimes surrealism in the form of a graduate level Monday night class in downtown Spokane.
. . .
Is simplicity simple, or dada?

I consider myself rather likeable. (but still, I am at times a wee bit selfish)


IV
Is poetry necessary? I know that those who shout in the most nasal voice against it are actually preparing a comfortable obsession for it; they call it the Future Hygienic (or as my dentist would say, a Floss-Free New Order).

People (like professors and other intellectuals) envision the (ever-impending) annihilation of art, independent films in Spokane, and coffee houses that stay open after 10:00 p.m. Here they are looking for a more art-like art. Hygiene becomes mygod mygod purity. Must we no longer believe in words or x-rays? Since when do they express the contrary of what the organ that utters them things and wants?* Herein lies the great secret: Thought is made in the mouth. (and sometimes in the buttocks)I still consider myself very likeable. (And not quite so selfish anymore.)

A great Spokane County philosopher (originally from Canada) said: Thought and the past are also very likeable.
* Thinks. wants, and wishes to think

. . .

VI
It seems that this exists: more logical, very logical, too logical, less logical, not very logical, really logical, fairly logical.
Well then, draw the inferences.
"I want spicy rice."
Now think of the person you would most love to tickle to death.
"Have you?"
Tell me the number and I'll tell you the Power Ball lottery number in all 27 states.

VII
A seminary student, in other words with his eyes closed, Dada places before action and above all: self-loathing and insecure Doubt. DADA doubts everything. Dada is an armadillo. Dada is a Chihuahua wearing a skirt. Dada is cold cous cous. Everything is Dada, too. Beware of Dada.

Anti-dadaism is a disease: selfkleptomania, man's normal condition, is DADA.
But the real dadas are against DADA. Just like the real coffee addicts make their own brew at home.

The selfkleptomaniac.

The person who steals - without thinking of her own interests or knitting needs, or of her will - elements of her individual, is a kleptomaniac. She steals herself. She causes the characters that alienate her from the community to disappear. She hides behind her cell phone, purse, and stiletto shoes. The bourgeois resemble one another - they're all alike. They used not to be alike. They have been taught to steal - stealing has become a fad (like Converse and bubblegum) - the most convenient and least dangerous thing is to steal oneself. They are all very poor. They are all on food stamps or living off student financial aid, subsidized Stafford loans. The poor are against DADA. They have a lot to do with their brains. They'll never get to the end of it. They work. The poor are against DADA. He who is against DADA is for me, a famous man said, but then he died after a few too many cigarettes and tequila shots. They buried him like a true dadaist. Guten Tag Dada. Beware! And remember this example.

* * *

how i became charming, likeable and delightful
- by amy tzara

1st December 2003

I sleep very late – sometimes past 8:00. I commit suicide at 65.725%. My life is very cheap (like a Mexican rug), it's only 4.25% of life for me. My life has 4.25% of life. It lacks arms, strings, a few buttons, and two ovaries. 5% is devoted to a state of semi-lucid stupor accompanied by vegetarian crackling and nail-biting. This 5% is called DADA. So life is cheap like Wal-Mart. Death is a bit more expensive like The Bon-Macy’s. But life is charming and death is equally charming (though I can’t remember the last time I died).

A few days ago I was at a meeting of imbeciles. There were a lot of people there. Everyone was charming, except for the girl with the hairy lips. Amy Tzara, a small, absurd and insignificant poet was giving a lecture on the art of becoming charming. She was charming, at that. Everyone is charming and sometimes a little too funny. And witty. It's delightful, isn't it? Everyone is delightful, at that. 9.75 degrees below zero. It's charming, isn't it? No, it isn't charming. God isn't up to it, nor is his Mother. He isn't even in the Spokane city directory or the yellow pages. He doesn’t even have his own website yet. But even so he's charming.

Ambassadors to Seattle, MFA poets, princes, musicians, Nirvana fans, journalists, Hollywood actors, writers, diplomats, directors, dressmakers, socialists, princesses and baronesses are charming.

You are all charming, very subtle, witty and delightful (and I must say, I love the way you smell). Amy Tzara says to you: she's quite willing to do something else, but she prefers to remain an idiot, a practical joker and a hoaxer who still laughs at whoopee cushions. Be sincere for a moment: what I've just said to you - is it charming or idiotic? Is it worthy of an MFA final project?

There are some people (journalists, lawyers, amateurs, philosophers) who even think that business, marriages, visits, wars, various conferences, limited companies, politics, accidents, dance halls, economic crises, fits of hysterics, are variations of dada.

Not being a properly trained hypnotist, I don't share their opinion. I believe rather, that dada is only a divinity of the Da Vinci Code, which must quite simply be placed beside the other forms of the new mechanism of Spokane city maps and downtown one-way streets.
Is simplicity simple, or dada?
I consider myself rather likeable. (Please hold your applause until after I leave. Thank you.)

* * *

Surrealist writing exercises
Most people have heard of The Exquisite Corpse game. Mad Libs are another great tool for getting at the spirit of dadaism--the not-completely-sensical cohesion of language. (Another helpful instruction site.)

How to make a Dadaist Poem (method of Tristan Tzara)

Some Tzara poems:
The Great Lament Of My Obscurity Three
Vegetable Swallow

one of my favorite poems

"When I'm writing, I know I'm doing the thing I was born to do." - Anne Sexton

Welcome Morning

There is joy
in all:
in the hair I brush each morning,
in the Cannon towel, newly washed,
that I rub my body with each morning,
in the chapel of eggs I cook
each morning,
in the outcry from the kettle
that heats my coffee
each morning,
in the spoon and the chair
that cry “hello there, Anne”
each morning,
in the godhead of the table
that I set my silver, plate, cup upon
each morning.

All this is God,
right here in my pea-green house
each morning
and I mean,
though often forget,
to give thanks,
to faint down by the kitchen table
in a prayer of rejoicing
as the holy birds at the kitchen window
peck into their marriage of seeds.

So while I think of it,
let me paint a thank-you on my palm
for this God, this laughter of the morning,
lest it go unspoken.

The Joy that isn’t shared, I’ve heard, dies young.

- Anne Sexton

* * *
"Welcome Morning", from her 1975 book The Awful Rowing Toward God (published after her death) illustrates a compelling facet of Sexton's persona which contradicts the dominant memory of her poetic life--depression and suicide. This poem is full of hope, light, sincere thankfulness for her moments of joy; the tactile sensations that gave Anne pleasure and peace. I am filled with a sense of grief for the inner turmoil she endured before and after this poem was composed. I think anyone who suffers from depression should post this by her bed and read it in the morning upon waking, that sometimes most difficult time of the day. To remember the hope. And consider her own personal reasons for giving thanks.

I'm going to read this poem at next month's reading to celebrate Women's History Month. It will take place at The Empyrean Coffee House in Spokane, and is being organized by some of my MFA alumni poet friends. Each reader will first read a poem or two published by prominent female poets, and then some of her/his own original work.

If you live in or near Spokane, you should come. Saturday, March 18 @ 7:00 p.m.

on the brain

Education-related subjects have been the substance of recent posts, which is an obvious sign that I'm not spending enough time in the realm of poetry. I can't help it. I am fascinated by Joe Williams's book Cheating Our Kids: How Politics and Greed Ruin Education. It feels so subversive to read it during the "prep periods" while substitute teaching. I love that. It's like I'm reading under the antagonist's nose. Well, not really. Williams's main focus is about the corruption and problems of America's largest urban school districts. His case examples have been with New York City, LA, San Diego, St. Louis, and Milwaukee mainly. As an education reportor, he lived/worked in Milwaukee, and now is in NY (and his sons attend its public schools). He asserts that parents who exercise choice for their children's education will choose either a private school, charter school (if that option exists), or--depending on the financial means of the family--move to the suburbs.

What Williams assumes is that the suburbs, simply because they are not so big and urban, are better school district systems. I believe that there is still excessive and unnecessary administrative systems and expenditures that have little or no direct impact on children--neither the instruction and learning process, or the overall classroom/school experience. For example, how many assistants are really needed in each department at the District office? Go to a district's home page and search the district personnel listings and you may find for one administrative department all of the following: Project Manager, Coordinator, Project Supervisor, and Project Assistants.

There's a lot I agree with in his book. In fact, most of it. I just makes sense, and he has convincing proof and citations. I wonder if the NEA has commented on this book yet?

Enough serious reading.

* * *
Back to Poetry . . .
On the literary bookshelf now: Appalachia by Charles Wright - a recommended/loaned book of poems from a member of my monthly poetry workshop group.

Indulgent Reading
Just borrowed from a friend, but haven't started: Harry Potter book 6 - Will this be 600+ pages of entertaining distraction when I could be reading and writing poetry?

From the library, but haven't started yet: Angela's Ashes - I started it years ago, when it was still the hot book to read; however, I just couldn't sustain interest for whatever reasons at that time. But since reading McCourt's Teacher Man, I now have a greater intrinsic desire to read his first memoir (and not just read because it's literary and everyone else has read it).

* * *
Advice for job seeking (esp. for college teaching) - when not to have a blog, or admit to it..or in other words, how blogging could hurt your career.

* * *
favorite food of the week: steamed white rice with cilantro
how to eat it: wrapped in a wheat tortilla with mozzarella cheese, lettuce, salsa, and guacamole ...easy to eat while reading online articles.

* * *
State of the Laptop: faded letters - d (gone, totally); c (mostly); v, n, s (partially extinct); m (endangered). Wazzup wit dat, Dell?

more, amour

LOVE SONG (SMELT)

When I say 'you' in my poems, I mean you.
I know it’s weird: we barely met.
You must hear this all the time, being you.

That night we were at opposite ends of
the long table, after the pungent
Russian condiments, the carafes of tarragon vodka,

the chafing dishes full of boiled smelts
I was a little drunk: after you left,
I ate the last smelt off your dirty plate.

- Dan Chiasson, from Natural History

c/o Knopf Poetry/Random House's "The Borzoi Reader"

Doing my part to spread the love...
"National Poetry Month 2006 is approaching, and if you subscribe to this newsletter you'll receive poetry by e-mail every day in April. But you know, sending someone poetry TODAY—and letting them know that they will receive 30 more starting April 1st—is a lovely way to show how much you care. It could also be seen as a lame excuse for not going out and actually buying a Valentine's Day gift, but don't let that get in the way of sharing a few poems. Face it: we could all use a little more poetry in our lives. And what better time than now. New subscribers can sign up at knopfpoetry.com: http://www.knopfpoetry.com"

C’mon, Washington!

Read this today in a new book I picked up at the library – Cheating Our Kids: How Politics and Greed Ruin Education, by Joe Williams. This excerpt is from page 25-26.

Charter schools are public schools that are allowed to operate independently of the traditional public school system. They are not normally part of “the system” but are treated instead by the state that grants the charter as if they were their own system. By their definition, they have an easier time making the most efficient use of their per-pupil funding allocations because there are fewer hands in the cookie jar. This is one of the reasons charter schools have been so popular with both fiscal conservatives and social liberals. Charter schools have emerged all over the country as one way to shift the focus of education back to students. Charter schools recognize parents and their children as consumers purchasing an important service. They build their budgets and programs around the needs of students or they don’t stay in business for very long.

Because charter schools tend to be small and don’t normally have to support a bloated bureaucracy, the money they get to educate kids tends to actually get spent on things that are more than remotely related to instruction. And even more importantly, when children leave the school, their money leaves with them. Parents are treated as customers with power, which is exactly the way it should be.

* * *

Today I subbed at a school that services high school students with severe psychiatric disorders. As one teacher there described it, they are the way point between the student's regular school and a psychiatric hosptial. It costs $55 a day, per student, she said. There are three teachers, some IA's, and a therapist or two. Only 30 students enrolled. For my classes today, there were no more than six actually present during the period. It's one one of the easiest days ever.

The staff was welcoming and very helpful. Even offering me coffee from their morning brew (I had my own, though). The teacher I was covering came in early to organize her lesson plans, because she woke up with the flu. The IA was attentive to the students. The students were kind, respectful, mellow, quiet, on-task, hardworking. No wonder this program has had such success through the years. And the students don't want to leave, instead choosing to graduate through this alternative program, rather than return to their "home" school.

I think my comfort level today was aided by a great sense of compassion for these students.

Oprah Power

I have never picked out a book to read just because Oprah said so. Although, I have read books that were also on her "Book Club" list. Undoubtedly, Oprah has picked some very merit-worthy books, with high-quality literary value. However, I hope more readers may soon pick for themselves, considering the Frey controversy. I know someone who considered buying his book based on Oprah's praise, yet decided against it after browsing through it a bit and seeing the plethora of profanity. Although, word choices that include profanity are sometimes necessary to establish characterization and the tone/mood of the scene and/or conflict, when it's used gratuitously and for popular-appeal it's no longer literary, in my opinion. Of course, a junkie would have a potty mouth, so it's believable! Well, I haven't read Frey's book--and now I really don't want to. I heard about the brouhaha from NPR initially, but missed Oprah's public tongue-lashing of Frey. That would've been fun to see.

This interesting article from a college journalist (WWU's Western Front) is an enjoyable read, and I didn't know that a Seattle attorney was seeking monetary compensation for the time wasted by readers who finished Frey's book. That's really telling. Because, yes...reading a book is a valuable investment of time. As Bronson discusses at his Website, a book has to have characters that are worth spending 8-10 hours with (the collective amount of time it takes to read the average-sized novel). Moreover, readers spread this out over a series of days and weeks--reading in bed, the bathroom, at night...all intimate connotations. But yet, if the readers ultimately enjoyed the work and the reading experience, what's there to whine about. Yes, they feel duped--all that emotional buy-in, believing the fiction was the verifiable memoir-truth. If I were one of those people, I'd want my money back. But compensation for time? Well, can't we all probably think of a book where we'd like to be paid for the time to read it because it was: a) really boring in parts; b) really disappointing at the end; and/or c) ultimately, a let-down and did not meet our expectations. The nice part, when it's not required reading for academia, is that we can simply put it down--return it to the library, take it to the used book store for credit, sneak back and return it to the bookstore (if it still "looks" unread), or give it away to a friend (though, not too good of a friend because it's not cool to recommend books that you wouldn't even bother with).

Anyway, it's amazing how much marketing power Oprah has--the power to create a near-instantaneous bestseller out of a book, make an author a household name...at least for all those who embrace her like a religion. Can I pass her my manuscript someday?

Ooo-prah Pow-er (clap-clap, clap-clap-clap), Ooo-prah Pow-er (clap-clap, clap-clap-clap) . . . .

for writers

I get emails from the Seattle P-I whenever there's a book-related article. Today's was about Po Bronson and his new non-fiction/documentary-type book about families. Apparently, Bronson was once voted People magazine's "sexiest author alive". I didn't know they did that. I would vote Leif Enger for that title, though he's also this NPR-spiritual-husband/father/family-man, so I feel like I would only have the guts to name him "cutest author alive."

Anyway, Bronson's website included a really interesting section - Advice to Writers. Here's an excerpt:

The writing life is lonely. Taking some of that loneliness out of it helps you to hang in there. Create a supportive environment that allows you to give it the kind of time it takes. Book clubs, workshops through bookstores, extended ed classes, graduate writing programs – they may not teach you to write, but they can support you and give you time.

How I'm currently achieving the existence of a "supportive environment": Tonight I'm meeting with three MFA alumni for our own "poetry workshop". The plan is that we'll meet together the first Tuesday of the month, emailing each other 1 poem ahead of time. Blogging helps, attending readings at local bookstores, being a member of Seattle Writergrrls (through their online listserve), keeping in touch with Wide-Eyed Poet in Colorado, and other small means of fostering a supportive environment.

More Bronson advice...
Allow for many paths to your goal. Do not fixate on one path, because then you are likely to give up when that path is blocked.

I think I've been learning this part well since graduating from grad school. Diversifying my writing processes, genres, forms, and all that. It's not poetry, but it's published, and it was interesting to research and write...and I get paid a little bit for it.

literary thief

When the Story Stolen Is Your Own - Sherman Alexie's essay from Time

Oh, to be in a graduate level nonfiction theory course during these turbulent times...what sizzling discussion there would be!

poet's nightstand

I'm not sure which organizational habits may be common among poets or other creative writers, but I think it's safe to say that having a large collection and clustering of books around the house arranged in both logical and messy fashion is a shared trait. As a loyal patron of my city's library system, the current checkout items can be found on and under the coffee table, on the dining room table (which is currently doubling as my "writing/laptop table"), and more often by the bed. My nightstand, which is really two metal cage-like cubes (painted white, the kind you assemble with the square sides and plastic corners), houses within its "shelves" an array of books, plus a stack on the floor for the ones I read intermittently and the one which I'm currently reading before falling asleep.

Here's what's on my nightstand:

Expecting Adam by Martha Beck (recommended by Amy Loves Books) - This memoir lived up to the high praise that blogger Amy gave it, as well as Anne Lamott whose blurb on the cover claimed it was, "A wonderful book, funny, unbelievably tender, and smart." The fascinating insights into what it meant (means?) to be Harvard, a little bit of growing up Mormon (sort of), with the troubling pregnancy that the author experienced at age 25 which led her on a spiritual odyssey and an entirely new philosophy of life. I'm wondering if there is a sequel yet, because she includes these riveting fast forwards about what life with Adam, her son with Down Syndrome, is like after his birth, at age 3, age 6, and points in between. From a non-fiction literary theory point of view, her construction of the book is artful and complex. The generous use of leaf bullets which function as asterisks, to show a shift in time from one scene or anecdote to the next, help create a narrative thread that sustains compassion and suspense. We know Adam lives and Martha's life is changed profoundly, but we don't know how she emotionally and spiritually survives until the end.

One of my favorite passages is from Chapter 9: Martha is entering a store, with her three children, and Adam delays himself by exploring the display of plants outside. An old farmer observed Adam and tells Martha, "He didn't just smell the flowers...He smelled the shrubs, too. He smelled every bush they have out there. I think he even smelled the dirt." I don't want to spoil the surprise twist to this encounter, but this section ends with Beck's analysis:

"For every old man who invites you outside to smell the bushes, there are at least three obsequious salespeople who will congratulate you on having 'such cute little girls,' while they look awkwardly past the boy with Down Syndrome, trying to pretend he isn't there. The prejudice, sometimes even hostility, can burn like acid. But along with this pain, Adam brought with him a sweetness that surpasses anything I ever felt before he was conceived. It comes from looking at the heart of things, from stopping to smell not only the roses but the bushes as well. It is a quality of attention to ordinary life that is so loving and intimate it is almost worship." - page 75-76

* * *

Education Myths by Jay P. Greene, with the subtitle What Special Interest Groups Want You to Believe About our Schools-- And Why It Isn't So. I've only read the entire chapter of "The Teacher Pay Myth" so far. I'm not sure how yet to respond to his comments. I do believe that if you have a Master's degree in WA State, the teacher salary is not bad. And since working more "outside of education" I better understand (and appreciate) the value of the retirement plan, life insurance, and having dental insurance in addition to health insurance that includes vision coverage. However, I do remember that my base salary my first year was $22,950. That was the fall of 1997. I had only a BA, no extra credits, and no years of experience since I was 21 and just out of college, having completed my student-teaching internship and four months of substitute teaching experience the previous academic year. I supplemented that first-year salary with the stipends from being the Freshman Class Advisor and JV Fastpitch Softball Coach. I also lived with my parents, and still drove their car. Pathetic, in retrospect—but all of the other first-year teachers I knew who were recent college grads lived with their parents if they worked close enough to home. By spring, I eventually bought my own car. I used to think of it as the only tangible reward of my first year of teaching.

That school year, from the end of August through the second week of June, I consistently worked 10-12+ hours a day, except for Fridays. Quite often I came into the building on Saturdays to complete additional grading and planning, in addition to the load of work I took home each weekend and "vacation". School started at 7:20 a.m., which meant the teacher day began at 6:50 a.m. Yuck. Teachers could leave at 2:30 (school let out at 2:00), but I really only remember leaving this early a few times. The most common reason for leaving at 2:30 was to get a latte from a local coffee shop with some fellow teachers and then head back to the building to work some more.

By the semester break, I was losing myself; by March, I was utterly exhausted. Which makes the fact that I was essentially coerced into coaching the JV team more understandable now, because I didn't know anything about fastpitch (only regular slowpitch softball). That’s how desperate the admin. were to have teachers for coaches. (I think in-building staff held only 25% of the coaching positions.)

I remember I was part of a secret "5 and Under Club"--a group of teachers who occasionally went out for dinner or lunch (during the teacher workshop days) in order to build camaraderie and support each other. The only requirement to join—you had to be teaching for 5 yrs or less. Or it might have been that you had to have been at that particular school for 5 yrs or less. I can't remember now. But I think 90% of the faculty fell into either category. The point was: we were all struggling in our own haze of disillusionment and stress, which we knew would lead to burnout eventually. The school environment and issues going on at the time in this urban school were very challenging. By April I knew of at least a handful of teachers who admitted to being on anti-depressants to cope with the work-related stress and anxiety. The future did not look promising if I stayed.

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also by the nightstand . . .
The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd – Beautiful prose, lyrical and even haunting at times, but it’s been slow reading for reasons I can only blame on the fact that there have been more riveting books to read. It’s slow, meditative fiction; that requires contemplation about the characters and their motivations. A melancholy tone pervades much of the narrative. Or perhaps my procrastination is because I’m not ready for it to end? Either way, I only have 50 pages left.

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No poetry on the nightstand? the floor?

I keep a small supply of poetry books on hand for occasionally nighttime reading. But after reading a plethora of fiction and literary theory for the past two years, it’s really enjoyable to indulge in fiction. And there is always poetry. I went to two local poetry readings the month of January, Sexton’s collected poems rests on the dining table next to my laptop as I write this, along with the Winter issue of Prairie Schooner. Poetry is still everywhere. Everywhere.

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And . . . the virtual nightstand:

• The PEN's response to Nasdijj
• a writer who publicly reveals the evil vices of a former boss (isn't this a fantasy we all have?) . . . I remember that a month before the new HS principal came, at a school I used to teach at, a teacher from the principal's former HS (and last place of employment) emailed our staff to warn us of his disguised evils, wish us luck and sarcastically give sympathy to us (though none of us, as best as I can recall, were responsible for his being hired...I was still mourning that my favorite assistant principal who had interviewed for the position didn't get it, in favor of the out-of-state newcomer).
• February issue of OutThere Monthly
• Seattle Writergrrls Zine